Every action has a reaction

Thoughts, the good, the bad and the what the f…

Is it wrong to question?

Is it right to fade into the background and follow on?

Depends. 

Lies.

sick. uncalled for. they make you a coward. now I see you for what you really are.

Finding out you lied, you cheated and lied again… it’s funny when you’re months on and you question… What the hell did I see in you.

I’m seeing clearly now, I’m in a good place and for the fact that you knew everything about me, turns out did not give a crap about me then you told what I told in confidence to the everyone else. Makes you lower than the lowest people.

I hope she was worth it… because you sure as hell weren’t. 

I’m better off without you and I’m so lucky for who I have in my life now. Good things come to those who wait… and deserve them. 

Questions.

far too many. far too many doubts. oh i wish we could just de-tag. 

History

It is what happened before this moment.

It is something that changed your path and took you down another. So without you’re past and your history you wouldn’t be here.

I could go on for day, weeks and months on end about how history can destroy and crush someone, or I could stand back and realise that without that past, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Without that history, I would not be this happy and in this blissful life.

Live in the moment, and history will record.

As much as some history may be horrible to remember, never forget who you are that you are that person because of the choices you made. May they be bad or good.

“Forget the past. Live in the present. And never forget what an incredible woman you are.”  

the only exception

There isn’t a truer song.
I had given up on people, I’d given up on love, on friendship and company… Until I met you.
And life turned around… Blissfully.

Yes its hard sometimes, times I want to strangle you… But you do with me. Even though sometimes its hard to see a solution to a problem, it is never hard to see why I’m with you.

Although the world seems dark and scary, there is a little light, coming from your smile, your warm heart, and the spark between us when your hand touches mine.
You’re the best feeling ever.

I know you’re stressed and pissed off with things at the moment… But if you have proved anything to me, its that good things come to those who wait and happy endings still exist.

Everything happens for a reason… And I’ll be there for as long as you want me. I just hope it is till the day after forever.

Lots of love.

one for Jamie

… I’m not a weirdo. 

All my love.

Monkey butt. 

6months on

Happy. Happy is an under statement.

I’m not jumping around shouting look at me! look what I have! but for the first time in my life, I’m so content. I’ve had alot of realisations, who my friends are, who I can trust and who I should be with… and I have to say, waiting and biding my time and stumbling into someone who’s soul meets mine was so worth it.

My friend asked if I was happy? I laughed and said of course I am. Then she said is he your dream man? And i replied no. He isnt a dream … he’s real. 

Yes it can be hard and I can get annoyed but he can with me and it only takes a second to breathe and eyes meet and when they do you remember why you are with them and why you made that commitment to them. It’s wonderful. 

Happiness. It’s rare. Love. It’s rare and so powerful.. put them together and well, it is a very special feeling and just grand. The best thing about it… it will happen when you least expect it … and you know that you deserve it.

Good things come to those who wait. 

Peace and Love. 

Returning to school tomorrow. 

I really dont care if i am honest. homework? no. studying? no. I’m not slacking… I just dont want to do it. So i wont. 

Oh and as for the people who haven’t been there.. you know where you stand. Im not going to make an effort with you. 

Things are changing for me. I’m happier now.

Now I am off for ice cream with Tony and then we are going to watch Disney movies. because he wants to. 

These posts are pointless. But no one is reading it. So really, I could not give a fuck :)

Love to you all, well the ones I like. 

I’m going to edinburgh today. I’m pretty excited if I’m honest. I love that city and I’m looking forward to seeing some old friends, finally.. People I enjoy.
Oh yeah! I’ve decided I’m quitting drinking. Frankly its boring, mind numbing and just makes you look like a right tool.
So my new year? I won’t be “so mwi” I won’t be “so fucked I don’t remember a thing but fantastic night”
I won’t have my skirt up my arse are flinging myself all over town, forgive me for not wanting to join your fantasy of a “teenage wasteland”

Yes I will probably be alone on new years.. But its better than thinking I’m god’s gift because I went out. I will sit with a stack of diet coke, back log of smiths albums and some good dvds or even a book.. And bring in my new year peacefully. As that is what I want from 2011. Peace.
I only have to put up with people for 4more months, then I’m sorry to be rude, happy to see the back of them because when was the last time YOU called? Or text? Or actually followed up on plans.
When you get an answer, talk to me and I might consider answering. Until then I don’t technically have much to say to you.

I’m fortunate for my real family, my good friends, my boy and my health.
I like my liver in the same condition, I like my tshirt being a little too big for me but most of all… I like me.

So hello edinburgh, god I’ve missed you.